We talked to Chorleywood based comedian/presenter Jack Rooke about his work with male suicide prevention charity CALM (Campaign against Living Miserably) and Tobi of Chilterns Samaritans about ways of helping people deal with the pressures and expectations in life
Whilst other journalism students were writing dissertations on subjects like Social Media, Jack Rooke spent his final year at Westminster University poring over newspaper reports and statistics on male suicide. Choosing such a grim topic came about partly because the 19 yr old brother of Jack’s friend Cecilia had taken his own life, and also the Charity CALM (Campaign against Living Miserably) had set up a stand at the university’s Freshers Week
“ I talked to the charity reps for a long time. I couldn’t get it out of my head that the biggest killer of people of my age and gender is suicide – it’s a massive statistic. CALM do some amazing work to help young men and support women – mothers, wives, girlfriends and sisters. I decided to make it the subject of my dissertation and started working as an ambassador for the charity which led to a comedy and poetry showcase called Save the Male aimed at raising awareness of CALM. Many young men can’t face asking for help when they need it, CALM make it easier. Save The Male breaks down barriers by encouraging openness and honesty through engagement with poetry, comedy and music. I compere the show and Cecilia curates it and we pull together a line up of performers
We tour the show round UK venues and festivals and have a residency at Bestival. We performed at the Roundhouse last year with Rizzle Kicks. My job is to compere in a way that is funny and accessible to young people. When you are speaking about mental health people’s inhibitions immediately drop. Everyone knows somebody who has been affected by depression. CALM is all about encouraging people to open up so it doesn’t feel awkward. We love doing the show to spread the word on the charity and are convinced creativity helps positivity.”
http://savethemale.tumblr.com/
CALM helpline: 0800 585858, open 5pm – midnight, 365 days a year. Free, Confidential and Anonymous.
Hector’s House
Our local suicide and crisis prevention and help resource, with links to specialist helplines. UK
http://www.hectorshouse.org.uk
Samaritans
Samaritans is often the first charity people turn to when they are struggling to cope. Over twenty thousand volunteers are on hand 24/7 ready to listen to problems. On average phonecalls are received every 6 seconds and about 1 in 5 calls are about suicide. Making that initial contact can take courage and Samaritans recognise this
“ It’s not unusual for people to hang up the first few times they call.” says Tobi who volunteers at Chilterns Samaritans branch based at Amersham opposite Challoner’s School” but, when they do stay on the line, speaking out loud plays a part in helping them come to terms with their problem. Some prefer the silence of texting, others like to email and a few choose face to face communication so call into to the office. However people contact us they get a response straight away”
Men feel they have to live up to being the strong, silent breadwinners – they must cope, provide and not complain. They won’t talk to their friends about what’s going on inside their heads whereas women are more used to discussing their feelings. When men do talk they have much longer conversations.”
Samaritans is non religious and never labels people
“ Whatever people tell you is their truth, Everybody is able to find a solution within themselves, we encourage the person to focus on their feelings, often we are the first person they share their thoughts with. We just listen, we never make judgements or tell people what to do. And we are always there.”
Looking after yourself
Making time for yourself and relaxing
Eat healthily and get plenty of sleep and exercise
Spend time with people you love
Talk about your problems with people you trust
Pay attention to what you are feeling
Be proud of what you are good at
Be aware of what you struggle with
Pay attention to what you are feeling
If you’ve stopped doing things you usually love, you’re tearful, not eating or sleeping properly, taking alcohol or drugs to cope or self harming, talk to the Samaritans or someone you trust
Looking after Others
There are no definite signs that somebody is suffering from depression although watch out for usually social individuals who suddenly isolate themselves or become withdrawn
If you are worried about a friend or family member…
* Try asking open questions like ‘Tell me about, What happened about?… How do you feel about?…
* Repeat back what they say to show you understand and ask more questions
* Focus on their feelings, don’t try and solve the problem,
* Respect what they tell you. Let them make their own decisions
08457 909090 Text 07725 90 90 90 email jo@samaritans.org